who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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