another moral hangover. fuck.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
