We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
