I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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