I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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