Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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