He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
