When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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