I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
So much Jack, so little girl.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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