So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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