It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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