dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize