rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
