moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
That accounts for only three of the penises
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
