Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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