I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
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