So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Randomize
