You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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