Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I love you. Go after that dick
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
