I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize