operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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