Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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