ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
