don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
