so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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