you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
