I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize