Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
