I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize