Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
