Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
