I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
