Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
areolas are like halos for boobs.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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