tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Sorry my hands just texted you
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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