does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
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He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
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Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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