So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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