is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
