What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
foreskin is a definite game changer
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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