he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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