If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
