I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
