addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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