I heard we made out
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
