If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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