I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
