My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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