I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
