My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
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