hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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