It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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