Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
