u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
