I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We don't watch enough power rangers
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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