So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
