Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Floor bacon is actually really good
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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