that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
