I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
How's work?
Spinning.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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