Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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