DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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