like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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