If i come over, it means nothing
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
