So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
