Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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