Porn is love you can see.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
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I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
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Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask