It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
