I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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