He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
