You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Vodka?
Forever.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
